In That Moment
by Oxygen.and.Cucumber
Summary: As Jake pulled the veil over my head my eyes snapped open, half wanting to see a different pair of eyes staring back at me. A golden honey coloured pair of eyes.. because no matter how much Jake may love me, I could never properly love him back.
1. Please

* * *

**In That Moment**

* * *

**Summary:** As Jake pulled the veil over my head my eyes snapped open, half wanting to see a different pair of eyes staring back at me. A golden honey coloured pair of eyes.. because no matter how much Jake may love me, I could never properly love him back.

**Inspiration: **The true depth of Jake's compassion. [As you may tell from this fic, I'm not an active campaigner on the 'Hate-Jake' websites].

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Please**

* * *

My mother flitted elatedly around me, her cheeks stained with tears. Her hands were pulling at my hair, brushing it, curling it, yanking into place. Pushing it into an image that wasn't me.

_Alice would have loved this._

She moved from my hair, to my face. Her hands painting a picture of someone more beautiful, someone more perfect, onto my cheeks.

"You're getting married Bella," she whispered, her hand brushing my cheek as she looked at me. Did I look happy? "Jake's a lovely man."

I know.

"And you'll be so happy together," she raised a hand to her mouth, holding back her sobs. She hiccuped, looking down on me sadly.

"I'm going to get Charlie," she said finally, leaving me sat opposite the long glass mirror.

At a glance, I was beautiful. My cheeks were the perfect shade of pink, my eyes flawlessly highlighted, and my lips cherry red and glistening against the light. But I wasn't inside. If you'd have bothered to look deeper into my eyes, to see the pain lingering behind the brown façade… _You would have known._

I reached out to touch my reflection in the mirror, tracing my lips slowly, just the way he would have done.

I'd promised Jacob that I'd moved on. That I was his forever and I always would be. But the problem was, no matter how much love someone else gave me, I could never return it. I wanted to – _just to give Jacob the love he deserved!_

But I couldn't kiss him properly, without thinking of someone else's lips. I couldn't hold him, without wishing that I had a colder, smoother set of arms around me. I couldn't lie with him, without flinching away from his hot, scalding hands.

So why was I marrying him?

_It was your last request Edward. The one reason why you left you._

_You couldn't give me humanity… a family…. children._

But the thing is… without you, I don't want _any _of it.

"Bells," Charlie choked, stumbling to my side, "You look beautiful."

"Thanks dad," I mumbled. _Was that even my voice anymore?_

"It's time to go," Renee breathed, offering me her hand, and I clamped my own fingers tightly around hers. "Here's your flowers."

She passed me a small bouquet of blue and white flowers.

_Blue._

That was his favourite colour on me. Before I could even think, before I could even comprehend what was going on, the music was playing, and Renee gave me to Charlie.

"Nervous Bells?" Charlie teased, pulling my arm through his.

_Would he notice if I didn't answer?_

The Church doors opened, and Charlie walked through with me, as everyone in the pews turned to face me.

_It was like first day of High School all over again._

Jake was standing at the end of the isle, his face exuberating happiness. The smile that I had come to love, was plastered across his face, and as Charlie gave Jake my hand, I could almost feel his love radiating towards me.

In that moment, I knew that if it wasn't for Edward, I could have loved Jacob fully, and given him what he deserved.

But somehow… I couldn't bring myself to regret it.

Jake's smile was my sun. But Edward's smile was my _oxygen_. I closed my eyes briefly, and as Jake pulled the veil over my head, my eyes snapped open, half wanting to see a different pair of eyes staring back at me.

A golden, honey coloured pair of eyes.

The worlds filtered past my ears with no meaning. Just like life. Days would slip through my fingertips, with my visits to Jake being my only guide to what month of the year it was.

"Does anyone have an objection to the marriage of this couple? Let him speak now, or forever hold his peace," the Vicar's words were quiet, and solemn, and in a wild thought, I wanted someone to object.

Then, so suddenly that I could hardly believe it, the doors of the Church flung open, a gust of wind filling the empty rafters.

_He_ was standing there, his hair plastered to his wet face, as droplets poured down his cheeks. He was still as beautiful and as perfect as I remembered him.

His coal black eyes fixed on mine, and they were raging with an intensity so powerful, so desperate, and so passionate, and in that moment, I knew that there was no one I would love more, than him. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it as quickly as he could. People were staring at him, turning around in their seats to gape at him.

If I'd have bothered to listen, to even acknowledge what was happening around me, I would have heard my father's fury. His words, harsh, biting, and foul – _Get lost Cullen_. But I couldn't tear my eyes away from him.

"Do you object?" The vicar asked politely, aiming the question towards Edward, and I could feel Jacob tensing beside me, fury evident in his warm, brown eyes, as his hand – still in mine – trembled beneath my fingertips.

_You wanted this. You wanted me to have a normal, human life. Don't lie. Don't be a hypocrite Edward._

_Don't._

I was doing this for him. All of this was for him.

I knew I loved Jacob, like family, like a friend, like a brother, but it wasn't enough.

It would _never_ be enough.

Edward's hands were outstretched towards me slightly, as though he were waiting for the moment when he could rip me out of Jacob's arms and run away with me. We'd spend eternity together. Just me and him.

Edward and Bella.

_The problem was… I wanted that. I craved that image._

_And I was standing next to my fiancée, who had stuck by me, and helped me mend my heart._

"No," he whispered, his hands dropping to his side in defeat, and he took a seat in the isle, no longer meeting my gaze. "I don't object."

That was when I broke, with only Jake's soft, comforting hands to keep me breathing.

* * *

**Reviews = Cookies**


	2. Don't

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Don't**

* * *

My hands clamped around the metal edges of the album, as I stared at the three empty spaces where _he _should have been. The three memories… he took away from me.

With a shaking finger, I reached up to trace the blank skin of the album, imagining his face forming around my touch.

As my eyes closed gently, shielding my pain from the rest of the world, a single tear slipped under my lashes, trailing down my cheek, before finally falling on the place where his face should have been.

_After so many years… why now?_

"Bella?" Jacob's voice called softly from behind the bathroom door, and I quickly stashed the album in the cupboard, wiping away the tears from under my eyes.

"Yeah…"

"Can I come in?"

I opened the latch of the door, slowly meeting his gaze as his breath hitched in the back of his throat. He saw how bloodshot my eyes were, he saw the despair, and the desolation behind them… he saw, and understood everything.

_Don't let me hurt you._

"I-I'm sorry," I choked, before my hands reached for him desperately, clinging to his shirt just to feel the warmth, and reassurance burning under his touch.

His hands wrapped around my back, his fingers running gently through my hair as he pressed his cheek against the top of my head. "There's nothing to be sorry about."

"There's _everything_," I whispered, my hands tightening around the lapel of his jacket.

He just let me cling desperately to him, holding me tightly against his chest as he tried to hide his own rising fears. "Bella..." he murmured into my hair, his voice strained, "I need to know... how much this _changes_."

I drew back from him, "Changes?"

He bit down on his lip, trying to fight away the tears as he tore his eyes from my gaze. "A-Are… Are you going to leave me?"

"_No." _

His gaze flashed back towards mine, weakening as he saw my expression, "What do you mean by that?"

"I need to talk to him Jake," my voice cracked, my mind whirling with the thought of seeing him again. I was going to get married… and I had Jake.

_I didn't need him._

"You don't need to talk to him at all," the bitterness was back in his voice, "He _left _you, and he caused you so much _pain_," his eyes burned with anguish, "and the day he decides to return…"

… _is the day I've finally moved on, and chosen you._

"He was my life Jake."

"_Was _your life!"

"Please," I begged pathetically, as I buried my head in his shoulder.

"Bella…"

I lifted my head up slightly, my eyes focusing on his, "When I was getting ready with my mom, all I could think about was him. I didn't want to Jake – but, I loved him so… _desperately_, so… _intensely_, and that kind of love doesn't just disappear!"

His own eyes closed, his jaw tense and stiff with emotion.

"Please," I whispered, "Just give me a chance to say goodbye."

His eyes snapped open, glaring bitterly into mine, "Say goodbye to who?"

"To me," a voice called gently from behind us, and I whirled around in his arms, my gaze fixing on Edward's.

My heart soared inside my chest, just with sheer elation at seeing him again. My fingers flinched away from Jake suddenly, longing for a colder… smoother skin to touch.

I heard Jake sigh above me, his arms tightening around me, and then relaxing as he let me go from his arms. His eyes locked with mine one final time, deploring me to see the devotion behind his gaze, "I love you," he breathed, stroking my cheek once, before turning and walking out of the door.

_I couldn't do this._

My breath caught in the back of my throat as the door swung shut, leaving me alone with Edward, my heartbeat thudding erratically under my chest, as I turned slowly to face him.

"Why did you come?"

My gaze flashed up to his, my bottom lip shaking as I saw the passion, and the desperation sparkling behind his golden eyes.

_I'd missed that_.

He took a step towards me, and then another, and another, until he was standing barely inches away from me. "I'm sorry," he choked hopelessly, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "I'll go now."

I turned my hard, cold gaze towards him, "Don't you _dare _think about leaving again."

"How can I stay?"

"How can you leave?" I demanded, reaching to grab his wrist in some vain effort to make him stay. He shivered at my touch, the gold colour in his eyes disappearing as it slowly turned black.

"I just… wanted to see you happy, one last time."

"I _was _happy."

"Before I arrived."

"Before you left!"

He flinched away from me, sliding his wrist out of my hand, only for me to cling desperately on to it again.

"And now… I have Jake."

_And you have the distractions you claimed existed… and whatever other reasons you left me for._

"I lied," he said gently, taking my other hand in his, "I just want you to know… before I _go_, because I am going Bella."

I shivered as he said my name.

"I can't stay. You and I both know that."

"B-But… I just got you back," I whispered, as his finger traced the veins of my hand.

_Let him go._

"Please tell me you're happy."

_Please don't be listening Jake._

"I can never be fully happy if I'm not with you."

He winced, his hands leaving mine so suddenly that I didn't have time to reach for him, "I should never have come. Forget that I ever did… _please _Bella."

He turned towards the door, still not moving.

"So, that's it?"

His head hung, resigned.

"You're just going to leave me again? Like you did two years ago? You're going to promise me everything, and then break it all just because you have the _power _to do so…"

"That was _never _why I left you," he growled, suddenly turning back to face me. "Never," his hands reached out to grasp mine, and I gave them to him, "I wanted you to be safe and happy. I wanted you to live the life you were supposed to live… without me holding you back."

"You didn't-"

"I'm not human Bella!" he roared, his voice cracking at the end as his chest heaved up at down with despair, "I left you, because I loved you."

His eyes, now burning with such an intense passion, locked on mine, "I thought that by leaving I would make you happier… and now, I've managed to hurt you in more ways than I thought possible. You will be happy with Jake," he said monotonously, almost as if he were trying to convince himself, "and you'll be able to live a full, human life… without me."

I knew it was going to hurt me, but at this moment, I didn't care. I just reached up, and slapped him.

He could have seen the gesture… he could have had time to back away, or to duck or even to grasp my wrist before it connected with his face; but he didn't even try to stop me.

"I waited for you," I seethed, trying to ignore the tingling feeling in my palm, "Two whole years of my life… I _waited_. Jake was the one that picked me back up again, Jake was the one that helped me to _trust_, and to _love. _I love him Edward… truly I do. But it can _never _be enough."

I let out a shaky breath, my hands clenching into fists, "You're a fool Edward Cullen."

And then I turned my eyes away from my heart, my soul, and my life.

"You say you didn't want to hurt me, well… you lied; again. You _knew _I was getting married today, and yet, you still came."

"Just to see you one last time… to see that you were happy, and that you'd moved on."

"I haven't."

"Bella-"

"I won't," I hissed, "Ever."

"Please-"

"Although, according to you… I have the memory of a _sieve_. That my memories would fade easily over time," my eyes flashed towards his, a cruel, bitter smile flashing across my face, "Did you _honestly _believe that I could forget you so quickly?"

"Yes."

"I _loved _you."

"Loved?"

I looked up at him defiantly, my eyes raking over his bedraggled clothing, his wild, gaunt expression, and his wet, wind-swept hair. I left his eyes until last, feeling my resistance melt into a small puddle by my feet. "Love," I amended, "Present tense…" I trailed off, smiling sadly, "I guess I lie too."

I shook my head, the smile slipping off my face as I realised something.

_Edward wanted me._

Without a second thought, my hand whirled around to his, fisting in his jumper as I yanked him closer towards me. I crashed my lips against his, no longer caring about the fact that he wasn't human.

All I needed was him.

_I loved him._

He gasped wildly into my mouth, his hands finding my waist as he pulled me closer towards him, lifting me up slightly as his lips attacked mine with the same passion and hunger. His hands wove into my hair, and he lifted me up again, hitching a leg around his hip.

_His boundaries were gone._

"Bella," he moaned softly, running his tongue slowly along my trembling bottom lip, "Bella…"

_What are you doing?_

"E-Edward-"

_You're at your own wedding, and you're kissing another man._

His lips cut off my speech, his hands clutching the skirts of my wedding dress, and I felt the tears welling up in my eyes.

_Oh God… _

_Jake._

* * *

**AN - **Yes, I have decided to continue this story, AND I have a plotline! The kiss was inspired by The Notebook MTV Best Kiss Award. [If you haven't seen it, youtube it]... and you'll understand what I was trying to show.

* * *

**Reviews = Cookies**


	3. Leave

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Leave**

* * *

"I can't do this," I breathed harshly, turning my face away from his, as he released my waist gently. His hands fell away from me slowly, releasing the pleats of my skirt reluctantly as I took a step away from him. "I can't do this to Jake."

"What do you want Bella?" he pleaded suddenly, his pitch black eyes gazing intensely back into mine, "Don't think about what _I _want, or what _Jacob _wants…. What do _you _want?"

My eyes flashed towards his, my voice bitter and harsh. "I don't want to hurt anyone."

He flinched away from my words.

"But whatever I do, I'm going to hurt someone."

"What are you going to do?" he whispered, his voice almost begging.

I held out my hand towards him, my gaze suddenly defiant. He slowly put his hand into mine, wary of my expression as I turned around and started walking back through the doors, and into the Church.

As I opened the final door, pulling him through with me, everyone turned to look, the words dying suddenly on their lips.

_I was trying not to think of the kiss. I _had _to forget. For my sake… and for Jake's. _I didn't have to look up to know that he was watching me, and how my hand was linked with Edward's.

Charlie marched up the isle towards us, Edward recoiling away from his gaze, "Get out of here," he snarled, his teeth gritting tightly together.

"Ch-"

"Don't even talk to me."

Charlie turned his gaze towards me, his eyes flickering towards where our hands were entwined, "Bells," he murmured, his voice suddenly becoming soft, "What are you doing?"

My gaze wavered, the tears welling up suddenly, "I'm _trying _to do the right thing," I breathed, as I turned away from him, facing Edward. He was watching me uncertainly.

"Give me a minute dad," I pleaded, my eyes flickering towards his briefly as I pushed Edward into the nearest seat in the isle. Charlie leaving to join the crowd.

"Bella-"

"Don't try and stop me. Don't you _dare _come back after all this time, after all this _heartache _that you caused me, and _claim _that you still love me. We both know that it's all lies."

"Bella-" his voice was desperate, and he stood up abruptly, his fingers clutching my cheek. "Please-"

"I am going to do what _you _wanted me to do," I breathed, my chest heaving as I jerked my cheek away from his fingers. "You wanted me to live a normal, human life," my voice cracked, and I found that I couldn't hold in anything any longer.

The anger wasn't strong enough.

_I couldn't do this._

"I love you," he vowed.

"Don't."

"I love-"

"Don't!" I shouted more forcefully, tearing out of his gaze as I raised a hand to brush the tears away from my cheeks. He beat me to it.

"Don't touch me," I whispered brokenly as I turned away from him for the last time.

_For Jake._

He was watching me from the front, his wide brown eyes on mine all the time. I could see his hands shaking under his clenched fist, the hard set of his jaw and his rigid posture. _Only he understood._

The tears were still streaming down my face as I walked towards him, leaving Edward gazing after me.

I was walking away from what I wanted. I was walking away from my life… my sanity… my love. _But he didn't want me. He _never _wanted me._

"Bella," Jake rushed to my side, taking my hands into his. The warmth was no longer a comfort, but a revulsion, and I flinched away from him, my posture becoming stiff, "Bella, we both know-"

"What do we both know?" I breathed, my heart breaking quietly beneath my chest. "Just pretend, _for me_ that he never came today. He's just another person we invited… think of him as that, _please_."

"You can't just forget him," Jake said softly, knowing all too well the people around us listening.

I took a deep breath, biting down on my lip as a broken sob fell from my lips, "I-I can," I whispered, my voice shaking. "I can, and I _will._"

As I heard the doors slam behind us, I knew he'd left, and I whirled around in Jacob's arms, not caring whether he could hear me or not.

"You promised!" I shouted, almost as if I were talking to myself. A part of me was aware that he was listening, and that seemed to be enough. "This is what you wanted, so don't tell me it's not," I let out a deep breath, my voice becoming calmer. "Edward," I whispered brokenly, my heart clenching as I said his name. "I asked you not to leave."

I only had to wait a few short moments for the door open slowly as he stepped back into the Church, his eyes burning with love, desire… and desperation.

More tears fell from my eyes, and my hands clamped at my sides, the hands that longed to reach out and comfort him. There was only one way out of this. I couldn't have him… me and him didn't go together.

_We never did._

"Stay," I asked weakly, and his jaw clenched with emotion.

"Forever," he promised, and I whirled around to face Jacob, as I scrunched my eyes up tightly together, feeling the pain and agony dragging me downwards into the darkness.

"Where were we?"

"Bella… we're not doing this now."

"Why not?" I demanded, looking up at him through my tears.

"This isn't right for you," he pleaded, "Not like this."

"Dad, sit down."

"Bella!" Jake said in surprise, clutching my hands even tighter, "How can you be _sure _this is what you want?"

I didn't even look over my shoulder at him. "You're what I want." _I lied._

His face was stiff and tense, and he looked away from me, shaking his head. "No… I'm not."

"Jake, don't-"

"I'm not Bella. Admit it."

"You are!" I breathed, clutching his hands tighter in mine as I blocked out my despair.

He laughed bitterly, the resentment hiding his pain. I _knew _Jacob… every emotion that flashed across his face I _knew_. And right now, he was hurting.

"I want to be selfish," he shook his head slowly, his lips curling upwards in a dark, cold smile. "I want to believe you Bella. Honest to God I do." Suddenly, his eyes were filled with tears, and his chest heaved with emotions as he tried to hide his emotions from me. "But you can never truly be happy with me."

His hands dropped away from me, falling lifeless and resigned by his sides as he took a step back from me, "Goodbye Bella."

"You're leaving?"

"What other choice do I have?"

"To stay."

He laughed again, turning back as he pressed his palm lightly against my cheek, "I _can't_. I love you with all my heart… but if you're going to be unhappy with me, I don't want that. If you're staying with me just to appease everyone here, don't. Be the selfish one."

"What are you saying?" I whispered.

His eyes became soft, and he drew my face towards his to press his lips against mine one final time; the kiss soft and sweet as he put every heartfelt emotion into the single gesture. "I'm saying be happy, and love him."

"I don't want to hurt you," my eyes closing from the pain and agony that was waiting to crush me. My voice was barely even audible, the colossal weight of my desperation only just hidden behind my broken plea.

"I don't want you to be unhappy."

I raised my gaze, my eyes uncomprehending to his love. _He was going to let me go._ "You are the most incredible, compassionate person I know, and I don't deserve one part of you. Let alone your love."

He clutched me close to his chest, burying his head in my hair as he finally let his emotions spill over the mask, "You deserve everything Bella," he choked, clutching me tighter… almost as if he couldn't let go.

His tears fell onto the top of my head, my own staining his shirt as I locked my arms around his back, crying desperately into his chest.

"And I'm sorry I can't give it to you."

* * *

**AN - **Possibly the most heartbreaking, depressing chapter I've ever written. God, even I was welling up at the end of that. _I'm pathetic. _I'd love to know what you thought of this, because I've spent a long time going over the sentences, re-arranging and finding new ways to put them together... because to me, this is the most poignant part of this story.

* * *

**Reviews = Cookies**


	4. Me

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Me**

* * *

He released me slowly from his embrace, sparing one half hearted smile as he touched my cheek gently with his fingertips. "Goodbye Bella."

"Goodbye Jake," I choked back, my voice barely rising above a whisper. A part of me knew that this could be the last time I would ever see him again; the other part of me was still in denial.

His eyes closed as he turned away from me, before flashing open again, now fixated on Edward's frozen body, still standing in the isle.

"If you ever hurt her again, I won't think twice about killing you."

"Thank you," he said simply, his eyes wide and uncomprehending. "For everything you've done."

He laughed bitterly. "I didn't do it for you." Jake took one calculated step towards Edward, and then another until he was standing barley metres away from him. "I know why you left in the first place Cullen."

Edward's expression remained blank and passive, except for his jaw, now tense and strained as he tried to control his emotions.

"And I know damn well that by letting her leave with you, I have a clear idea of the life she's going to lead after it." Jake drew a shuddered breath in, struggling to control his trembling hands. "It was what she wanted in the first place Cullen, and you'd be a fool not to give it to her."

Jake was asking Edward to make me into a vampire?

"Screw your morals Cullen. Screw what you believe in and the stupid treaty. If it's what she really wants, then you have to give it to her."

Slowly but surely, Edward nodded, his eyes trained on Jacob. "I promise."

Jake tore his gaze away from Edward's, looking over his shoulder at me once as he smiled the same smile that I had fallen in love with, before bowing his head, no longer hiding the tears falling from his eyes.

This was it.

He was giving me the greatest gift that he could possibly give, and by doing so, showing me the true extent of his love. He was setting me free.

I watched him leave, a small piece of my heart following him out that door and into the cold, wet night as Edward's gaze flashed to mine.

"Bella, you can't be serious about this!" Charlie stated from the front of the Church as I turned to face him, watching him flinch away from my desperate expression.

"Dad, I love Jake. I _do_… and I didn't want to hurt anyone – I'm sorry."

"Bells, this isn't your fault."

"Yes it is!"

"Bells-"

"_Everything's _my fault. I hurt him so bad, and-"

"It's not your fault Bella."

My neck snapped upwards, my eyes locking on Edward's as I whimpered quietly, biting down on my lip. His few words had the power to make the breath catch in the back of my throat, my speech dying on my tongue.

"It's my fault," I whispered brokenly, the guilt rising up in my stomach. I didn't _want _to feel this way to Edward and to give into him so easily. I didn't _want _to hurt Jake. But someone, in just a few short minutes, I'd managed to do both.

"Edward-"

"I was the one who returned."

"You're damn right," Charlie growled, taking a step towards Edward. "You had to come back and ruin this day for her, and she'd only just gotten over you, and-"

"Dad!"

"-now she has to go through that pain again. Did you even think about the consequences of you leaving Forks? Did you even for one second think what it would do to my daughter?"

"Dad!" I screamed, louder this time and he stopped speaking, his expression hard, cold, and angry.

"Bells, you-"

"I don't know what I'm doing at the moment, but you need to trust me, and you need to let me figure this out for myself." My eyes scrunched together, trying to stop myself from crying as my chest heaved with the strain of breathing. "I've just lost one man that I loved. Don't let me lose another."

Without sparing another glance for my father, I strode towards Edward, offering him my hand as I pulled him outside with me, trying to forget the feeling of his cold, smooth hand on mine. I'd missed it.

It was still raining outside, but I couldn't care less.

If the weather had been any different today, I wonder if the outcome would have been either. Perhaps if it had been sunny, Edward wouldn't have come. If it wasn't raining, perhaps Jake wouldn't have been hurt.

My dress was now soaked through, my hair plastered to my face, but the only thing that mattered was his hand in mine.

"W-Why now?" I asked quietly as we stopped under a tree, the branches shading some of the rain from us. A brief memory of our time in the meadow flashing through my mind. "You could have come back sooner." My voice dropped to a whisper, incapable of hiding the longing behind my words.

"I wanted to Bella, but I promised you."

"You promised a lot of things Edward," I reminded him, unable to meet his gaze, and yet unable to take my hand out of his.

"I would take everything back if I could. I _never _meant to hurt you. Ever – I swear it."

"But you did," I muttered quietly, before realising only too soon that he could still hear me. "You hurt me when you left. When you said you'd never return. When you asked me to move on with my life, and I _tried _Edward. It was the one thing you wanted and I would have given you _anything_."

"Bella-"

"Don't you realise?" I said desperately, forcing myself to look into his eyes. "I would have given you my _life_, but you didn't want it! You didn't want any part of me!"

"I lied!" He shouted back, cupping my chin in his hands before I could let go. "None of that was the truth Bella, and it broke my heart to leave you. I couldn't even be around my family, most of all Jasper, because the guilt, the pain, the heartache of leaving you was eating me up."

"The guilt?" I asked cynically, raising an eyebrow. "Is that why you returned? Because you felt _guilty_?"

"It wasn't the right word, I-"

"You finally realised how much you truly hurt me, and you came back to say you were sorry?" I'd left Jake for this... _Oh God_.

"Bella, I love you!" He whispered passionately, his dark black eyes burning into mine as he pleaded with me to see the truth behind his words. "I left because I loved you. I couldn't-" he broke off, choking as he forced himself to speak, "I _couldn't _let you live this life. You deserved so much better."

"I didn't want better. If you were the worst thing in my life, then I must be the most fortunate, thankful person on this Earth. You were the _best _thing in my life Edward, and you left."

"To save your life Bella. Please, _please _see the truth!"

I turned away from him, finally taking my hand out of his as a sob rose in my throat, my fingers clenching and trembling all at once. "You love me?" I said softly, still not turning to face him.

"With all my heart."

"Then change me. Prove that you want me for eternity."

"Bella, I _can't, _I'm-"

"A coward?"

His gaze snapped towards mine, his hands clutching my shoulders as he spun me around, his gaze boring into mine. "This has _nothing _to do with cowardice."

"Fear?"

"Love."

"Love?" I laughed bitterly, my eyes cold, dark, and angry. "Love would be not leaving someone. Love would be giving them what they wanted, regardless of your own opinions. How can you claim you won't change me for love?"

"You want it?"

"All I know is that I want you – forever. Humanity means little to me anymore because I can't share it with you. Share your life with me Edward, _please_. Say you want me forever."

"I want you forever Bella, that's not the problem!" he retorted, taking a deep breath to calm himself, before moving closer to me, resting his forehead gently against mine. "If there was any way I could become human, I would take it without a backwards glance. I _do _want you forever Bella, but I can't condemn you to living this life of a-a monster!"

I grabbed his face suddenly, yanking his lips down to mine. "You are not a monster. Do you hear me? You have _never _been a monster. Not even when you left could I ever call you a monster."

His gaze flickered up to mine, a weak, thankful smile spreading across his face, before he exhaled slowly, sighing. "I'll give it to you Bella, if it's what you want. I'd give you anything."

"You mean it?"

"Yes."

"Do you swear it?"

He nodded once, his hand curving around my cheek, his thumb running slowly over my lips. "I'm so sorry Bella. I could say that a thousand times and it would never be enough."

"All that matters is you're here now; forever."

"Forever," he agreed, leaning closer to me, his mouth barely inches from me. "I'm so sorry Bella."

"Edward-"

"If you can ever forgive me for everything I've done, all the pain I've caused you… Please."

"Edward-"

"I'm so sorry, I-"

I cut him off, slamming my lips against his as a growl rose up inside his chest. His hands clutched my waist tightly, and before I could even think, he lifted me up, pushing me back against the tree as his lips reacting just as fiercely as mine.

I knew that this situation was messed up; I'd be lying if I said it was perfect. In the short space of a few hours, I'd lost my heart, and found it all over again.

But one thing I was certain about was my future. And I hadn't been able to say that for a long, long time.

* * *

**AN - **Not as angsty as the other chapters. I thought I'd tone it down a little and give you some Edward/Bella. I'm not entirely sure where I'm taking this fanfic. It started out as a oneshot, and now due to the huge support for it, it's turning into it's own story. Is there anything you'd like to see from this fanfic? Let me know!

* * *

**Reviews = Cookies**


	5. Alone

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Alone**

* * *

"What happens now?" I asked quietly, the rain around us slowing to a soft patter as a puddle started to form in the earth under our feet.

"Whatever you want love." He vowed, and shivers run down my back at that one simple word. _Love_. The last time I heard that word was when he was beside me, my heart safe and whole, not split in two.

"I… want to say goodbye," I said timidly, thinking back past the painful memories of when Edward was with me, reminding myself of what I had wanted then.

"We don't have to leave so soon," he murmured gently, reaching out to tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear. His fingers stayed on my face, tracing the outline of my lips tenderly, before trailing down my neck and resting softly against my shoulder. "You don't have to make a decision today Bella. We could stay here, for a few more weeks, months perhaps if you wanted that."

"I don't want that." I shook my head quickly, my eyes widening at the word _months_. I'd waited far too long for Edward to return, and now that he was finally back, I certainly wasn't going to be doing anymore waiting. I was too impatient for that.

"When would you like to… _join _me Bella? I need to be strong enough, for then… for you."

"You are strong," I smiled soothingly, resting my own hand against his cheek as he leaned into my touch, pressing a cold, wintry kiss to the centre of my palm.

"Not in the way needed." He drew in a deep breath, his chest rising steeply underneath his sweater as he met my gaze, his eyes burning with anguish. "I can't lose control Bella, not for one minute."

"I trust you."

Doubt flashed across his expression, and his fingers trembled against my lips. "Can you honestly say that after everything I've put you through?"

I smiled warmly under his touch, pressing a kiss to the tips of his fingers. "Yes Edward, I can."

"Thank you," he smiled back briefly, taking my hands gently in his and handling them as though they were glass.

Then, so quick that I could barely catch it, I saw his eyebrows slope into a frown, before his features straightened out again, his face now impassive and at ease.

"Edward?"

"Yes Bella?"

"What's wrong?"

He winced, pursing his lips as he looked tentatively towards me, no longer hiding the discontentment in his expression. I knew that expression. He was listening to their thoughts.

"What are they saying?" I asked a different question, my voice persuasive as my eyes widened, almost as if I were forcing the answer out of him. I had been left in the dark too many times before, and the consequences weren't something I wanted to face.

In the past he'd treated me as though I were china, hoping to protect me from everything in the world. Most of all; _himself. _That was one thing I wasn't going to let happen again.

"Jake's, uh… _friends _aren't best pleased."

Oh.

Well that was to be expected. Vampires weren't the most welcome creatures in a territory owned by werewolves, who's main intent in life was to protect their land from their enemy, who so happened to be stood next to me, his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

Livid would be a better word to use.

"The other werewolves?"

His eyebrow rose suddenly, his eyes darkening as his gaze flashed to mine once more. It was the first time since he'd been back, that he truly looked like the creature he was. "Werewolf?" he choked out, his voice barely rising above a whisper. "That explains the smell, but… Oh god Bella."

"What?"

"You were going to marry a _werewolf_?"

I flinched away from his words, Jake's face flashing in front of my eyes as he smiled down warmly at me, his cheeks covered in dirt from his garage. "I was _going _to marry a vampire Edward," I hissed back at him, tearing my hand out of his as my eyes narrowed. If he dared even question Jake…

"Bella-"

"He would never hurt me." I swore, my voice firm and defiant. As much as Edward would try to disagree, I knew him just as well as I knew Jake. Every expression of his, only told me what he was thinking. "I didn't care that he was a werewolf, just like I don't care that you're a vampire Edward. I loved him for who he was, and the person that he was. The fact that he morphed into a giant wolf when he felt like it meant _nothing _to me. I love you for who you are Edward. Please believe that."

His hands reached out to me, almost like he was missing me in the short moment I'd been away from his arms, and I took a timid step towards him, linking my hand slowly with his.

"I believe you." He whispered hoarsely, and before I knew it, he crushed me against his chest, burying his head deep in my hair as the breath caught in the back of his throat, and for one short moment, I could have sworn he was crying.

"What do they want?"

"Vengeance."

I brought my head back slightly from his chest. "We have to leave."

"Bella," he said softly, his hands falling from the middle of my back to rest on my waist. "I caused this mess, and I have to face up to it. Running away won't help anything."

"It isn't running away!"

Edward's hands tightened slightly on my waist, and he froze, looking quickly over my shoulder. I could hear their deep, heavy breathing, and I could almost smell their woody, musky scent. He clutched me tighter against his chest, refusing to let me turn around.

"We don't fair so well when one of our pack members gets hurt." A deep voice growled from behind us. _Sam. _I flinched against his shirt, biting down on my lip.

"It was never the intention."

"You messed Jake up real bad."

"I'm not denying the mistakes I've made," Edward said quietly, "and I'm sorry for everything I caused. It's something I wish I could take back."

"Just like you left, huh?" Sam asked bitterly. That was it. They were going to accuse Edward of the mistakes he'd made in the past.

"Sam, stop it." I snapped, pushing away from Edward's chest as I whirred around to face him. My eyes slowly took in the rest of the pack, standing opposite us, their posture tense and shaking as they refused to take their gaze of Edward.

"Bella, get out of the way," Paul said through gritted teeth, his frame shaking the most, and I knew it wouldn't take much for him to shift his shape into a wolf. I felt Edward's hand resting tentatively against my waist, just waiting for the moment when he could whisk me off to safety. But those times were over. A lot had changed after he left.

"Your bloodsucker needs to understand what he's done." Sam said stiffly, his gaze locking on Edward's. It was only when I heard Edward's breathing hitch; that I knew something was wrong.

"Sam, what are you doing to him?" I asked tersely, my gaze flickering between Paul and Sam's.

"Just reminding him Bella," Sam smiled innocently as my gaze finally left theirs, and I whirred around to face Edward's. His face was like stone, his eyes black and unseeing as his hand fell away from my waist, clenching into fists at his sides. He looked like a broken man.

"Sam, stop it!" I screamed, my hands reaching out to take Edward's shirt as I yanked his face down to mine, forcing him back into reality.

"He needs to see this Bella!" Sam yelled back, forcing more of his thoughts into Edward's mind. "He needs to know what happened when he left you, and everything that Jake did for you. He needs to know what he's taking away from you."

My trembling hands left Edward's, realising that stopping this was now out of my control, and I sank to the floor in front of him, burying my head deep in my lap as the tears poured over my eyes. I'd caused everyone so much pain. Maybe it would just be easier if…

"Sam, cut it out." Seth snapped finally, moving away from the line of werewolves to my side. He crouched down by my side, now barely inches away from Edward.

"Seth, get away from it." Leah hissed, leaning forward into a crouch as Edward's eyes turned back from black to gold, returning back into reality.

"Bella, are you OK?" Seth murmured softly, offering me his hand as I took it, tears still pouring down my face.

"I hurt so many people Seth."

"Jake will heal Bells, you've gotta believe that."

"I want to, I do, but…"

Seth squeezed my hand gently, ignoring the shouts from the other werewolves, forcing him to return back to them. He smiled once at me, before tilting his head towards Edward.

"You take good care of her."

"I will," Edward vowed, his voice cracking as he too knelt beside me. Then Seth broke into a warm grin, and held his hand out to Edward's to shake.

"Seth, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Sam snarled as Seth's smile increased. Edward's grinned back, shaking Seth's hand briefly as the yelling from the others grew louder.

"I'm befriending a vampire Sam, that's what I'm doing." Seth called back, reaching out to hug me. "I'll see you soon Bells?"

"Sure Seth," I promised, hugging him back. "And you'll let me know about Jake?"

"'Course I will." Seth beamed, waving to me and Edward, before joining the rest of his pack.

"You had no right to do that," Sam hissed as soon as Seth was back with the others. "He is our enemy. Does that mean _nothing _to you?"

Seth smirked. "You're so damn prejudice Sam. Lighten up."

I chuckled quietly to myself, feeling Sam's gaze snap around towards mine. If that had been Edward laughing, there would have been no doubt in my mind that he would've attacked.

"I hope you know what you've done Bella."

His words cut into me, sharper than knives would have done, and anyone who's said that _words may never hurt me _is a liar. Words are the cruelest form of punishment. "I do Sam, and I'm sorry with all my heart. If there was anyway this could have been different…" I trailed off, sighing into Edward's arms. "Look after him for me."

Sam gritted his teeth, nodding once before he turned away from us, gesturing for the rest of the pack to follow him. Seth was last to leave, waving us goodbye as he smiled towards us.

Edward pushed the hair gently off my shoulder, leaning down as his lips brushed against my neck. There was only one thing left to resolve, one person left to comfort, and that person would be the hardest.

Renee had always accepted my decisions regardless, and Phil went along with what she said. Billy would be there to look after Jake, I knew I could count on him. But my own father... was an _entirely _different matter.

I turned around slowly in his arms, my hands reaching up to brush his cheek gently. With him by my side, I could do this.

He gave me the strength to do anything.

* * *

**AN - **Thank you for all your ideas you sent to me! I think Bella becoming a vampire at this point in the story is inevitable, I just need to figure out a way to make her a vampire, and tie up any loose ends that I've missed. The next chapter will probably be the final goodbye, leaving her father behind, explaining the choice she's made - because he won't just accept it. Remember, he's seen her in an almost cationic state for the past few years, so he's hardly going to willingly let her run off with him. Then Bella will get to meet all the Cullens again... and finally, begin her life as a vampire with Edward. That's where I now think I'm heading with this story, I just have to get there first!

Any other loose ends that you think need... tieing up :), let me know and I'll try to do that. I'm also running out of chapter titles... haha, so far I've got "Please Don't Leave Me Alone" - I was thinking next, Edward. After that, I have very few ideas that would work, and I want to make this story more than one more chapter long!

* * *

**Reviews = Cookies**


	6. After

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**After**

* * *

He moved closer towards me, pressing his forehead gently against mine. "Are you sure about this?"

"Edward," I whispered, my lips smiling around his name. It had been years since I could say that without it hurting. "I need you to know how much I loved you, and that it wasn't something that was just going to disappear with time." I took his hands slowly into mine, running my fingers across his knuckles. "Jake was one of the only people who truly understood the way I felt about you, and that's why he's the only one that can let me go."

The full weight of Jake's actions crashed down on me in that one moment, and I stared back at Edward, wide-eyed. He'd helped me through so much, and picked me back up again, mending my broken heart in the process. I'd tried to give him all that I could, but in the end, it still wasn't enough.

_Three Years Ago_

_Edward was never coming back._

_I was stupid to wait for him._

"_Bella, can you pass me that hammer?" Jake asked from the corner, wiping a dirty cloth across his cheek as he appeared from underneath the bonnet of his car. I smiled down towards him, my eyes raking over his bedraggled expression as I passed him the tool, watching the way his face lit up when our eyes met. _

_Jake liked me – that was something I'd learned that I couldn't deny. But I knew that I could never forget Edward. That part of my life was the happiest I'd ever been, and I would have given him my life, if he'd wanted it._

"_You know, Quill still thinks that he has a chance with you, despite the fact that I keep telling him he's too young for you." Jake teased, altering the bottom of his car as I sat, perched on the heap of charcoal sacks._

"_I'd never date a werewolf," I disapproved, unable to stop myself from smiling as Jake wheeled himself out from under the rabbit, his eyebrows raised in curiousity._

"_Oh, and why is that?"_

_I laughed to myself, realising all too soon that we were no longer talking about Quill. "You're sitting in a movie theatre with them, watching some romance film, and next thing you know, they can't stop staring at the girl next to them."_

_He rolled his eyes, "Imprinting doesn't happen quite like that Bells."_

"_And how would you know?"_

_He frowned, his eyebrows crumpling. "I don't want to imprint on anyone."_

_I jumped down from the sacks, kneeling by his side now. "I guess it seems like you have no control over who you fall for. It's a sort of 'forced love', don't you think?"_

"_That's not it," he muttered, putting down his tools as he moved so that he was kneeling beside me too. Then, a wide beaming grin flashed across his face. "I mean, what if she's ugly?"_

_I hit his shoulder, standing up quickly, but he reached out to grab my ankle, his face suddenly serious. "I wouldn't want to imprint, because there's only one person that I love Bells."_

"_And who's that?" I whispered, knowing that he could hear me. _

"_You."_

"_Jake-"_

"_I know Bells."_

_I bit down on my lip, turning away from him. "I don't know if I can…"_

"_You could try?"_

"_It's not fair on you!"_

_He let go of my ankle suddenly, standing up so that we were facing each other. "Try Bella, please. At least then, you'll never think 'what if'."_

"_This is a bad idea."_

"_Will you try… for me?"_

"_Jake-"_

"_Please?"_

_He wanted me to give a relationship between us a chance? I lived for our friendship and the times when I could just sit in his garage, laughing and joking about the other pack members. If I tried… we could lose that. _

"_Now?"_

"_Whenever you want," he pressed his palms gently against my cheeks. "I don't want to rush you into anything – you can 'call the shots'. But, just give us a chance?"_

_And slowly, but surely, I nodded._

I bowed my head against the memory, a single tear slipping from my eyes. It seemed that this night I'd cried enough to last me a lifetime.

"Bella?" Edward's breathing hitched as he realised I was crying, and before I could blink, we were curled up in the hollow of the tree, Edward running his fingers through my hair gently as he held me close to his chest. "I'm sorry."

"He was such a good person," I murmured quietly into his shirt, another tear falling down my cheek. "And I hurt him so much."

_We were sitting in his jeep, his hand holding mine tightly across the handbrake. It was the furthest that we'd got physically, just holding each other's hand wherever we walked, or he'd throw an arm casually around my shoulders._

"_There's a party down at the reservation this evening," Jacob started, his eyes flickering towards mine, searching for a reaction. "I was wondering if we could go together?"_

"_Of course," I said without a thought. With anything that involved Jake, I jumped at the chance to share it with him, because when I was around him, he made me forget everything I was holding onto._

"_You don't have to if you don't want to, I mean-"_

"_Jake, I want to."_

"_There's dancing?"_

_I sucked in a deep breath, my eyes narrowing. "Maybe not that part. But as long as you're going, I want to go too."_

"_And ignore Leah."_

"_Why?"_

"_She's been taking her pent up anger on everybody else at the moment, so don't be surprised if she starts insulting you this evening."_

"_Why's she angry?"_

"_Sam and Emily just announced that they're getting married in the fall."_

"_Oh…"_

"_Mm." His gaze flashed to mine again and my heart thudded nervously inside my chest. Perhaps it was the idea of Jake being so close to me, or perhaps it was the word 'marriage' falling from his lips._

"_You like me, right Bella?"_

"_Sure I do Jake."_

"_I mean, do you really like me?"_

"_Uh, yes?" I said uncertainly, not knowing where he was going with his words._

"_Do you find me attractive?"_

"_What kind of a question is that?"_

"_Bella?"_

"_I guess," I mumbled, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. My eyes flickered towards him, meeting the dark brown spheres of his own eyes. I'd never noticed him before in that way._

_I was used to focusing on his smile, or the way his face lit up when I was around. I'd never even looked at the lean curve of his shoulders, or the way his arms strained against his t-shirt, hiding his toned limbs. _

"_Yeah, I do Jake. Why?"_

_In a flash, he was barely inches away from me, the car now pulled up at a lay-by as he stared at me. "So, you really like me and you find me attractive?"_

"_Jake, you know there's more to it than that."_

"_Sure I do, but that's got to mean something, hasn't it?"_

"_You expecting me to jump you or something?"_

_His lips curled up into a smile, his eyes dancing with amusement. "I was hoping so."_

_I rolled my eyes, my cheeks filling with a warm red blush. He'd been there for me more times than I could count, and if he wanted something, I was going to do my hardest to give it to him. "You want me to try?"_

"_You're joking," he teased lightly, moving back to his seat as he widened the distance between us._

"_No… I'm not."_

"_Bella, we both know that you can't lie to save yourself. Although it's nice for me to hear that you find me attractive and you really like me; boosts my ego and all of that jazz."_

_I wasn't sure whether it was subconsciously or consciously, but right then, I realised, that I was going to jump Jacob Black._

_I reached across the car, my hands fisting in his shirt, and before he could breathe I pulled myself over the handbrake, slipping onto his lap as I crushed my lips against his._

"Did Alice see me with Jake?" I asked tentatively, shaking myself from the memory as I grasped out for something to distract me.

"She only saw you walking down the isle and the invitation."

"You knew it was Jake?"

"I never forget a name."

"We'll have to leave here forever, won't we?"

He nodded wordlessly, his eyes never leaving my face. "You won't be able to see Charlie again."

I bit my lip, turning away from him to look back to the Church. "Or Renee…"

"It's not too late to change your mind."

"I'm not changing it," I promised. "I just… want to say goodbye before we go."

"_Truth or dare?" Jake suggested as I shook my head quickly. "Spin the bottle?"_

"_Jake, there's only you and me here, so I doubt would really work unless you want a twenty minute make-out session."_

"_Spin the bottle it is then," he smiled mischievously as I smacked his arm, ignoring how he puckered his lips._

"_Twenty questions?"_

"_Fine," he pouted, smoothing his lips out as I rolled my eyes. I leaned across to him, pressing my lips against his chastely._

"_Better?"_

"_Almost."_

"_You get first question?"_

"_Perfect," he chuckled, rubbing his hands together as he smirked towards me. "Now, should I go for personal or embarrassing?"_

_I pulled a face, snuggling into his side._

"_First crush?"_

_I blushed, biting down on my lip. "A guy I met in third grade. I don't remember his name."_

"_I remember my first crush," Jake leant closer towards me, his breath tickling my neck. "She was extremely clumsy, but very, very beautiful. And if you kissed right here," he pressed a kiss against my collarbone, "you could hear her heart beating so fast that it could have been flying."_

"_Jake," I whispered, trying to be angry with him for teasing me, but his words completely destroyed that. "Thank you…"_

_He grinned. "Your turn."_

"_Worst date?"_

"_Fifth grade," he mumbled, his eyes darkening. "I didn't even like her, but dad said I should go, so I took her to some cheap, run down café." He shuddered. "She wouldn't even speak to me afterwards."_

"_I hope I wouldn't fall under that category."_

_He chuckled to himself. "I don't know Bells. That date with Mike puking his guts up all over the cinema bathroom was pretty bad."_

"_Stop it," I muttered, pushing away from his side but his hand tightened on my arm, preventing me from moving._

"_Can I ask you… a serious question now?"_

"_Sure."_

"_What…" he started to say, before stopping himself. "What would-" he paused again, shifting on the sand as he tried to find the right words._

"_Jake?" I moved closer to him, pressing my hand against his cheek._

_He sighed into my touch, closing his eyes slowly. "What would you do if Edward returned?"_

* * *

**AN – **I don't really know why I put this chapter in. I said it was going to be a Bella/Charlie chapter next, but I started writing, and decided to put in a flashback, which then provoked the other two flashbacks. And knowing me and the plans I have for this story, I'll probably put in a few more flashbacks – if you don't like them, let me know and I'll try and lessen the amount I put in. I know that some people find Bella selfish in this story, and I do too, but look at it from Jake's perspective. If she stayed with him, she'd be staying with him to keep _him _happy, not herself. And although he may want to kick Edward's ass pretty bad, he won't, because that will hurt Bella. I hope this story has opens up the eyes of some Jacob haters here!

I had a really evil idea for this story on holiday – and I'm going to share it with you, because it made me laugh. I could technically make Bella pregnant with Jacob's werewolf baby, that turn out to be quadruplets, that turn out to hate their step-dad (Edward) because he's a vampire/enemy. Before Bella turns, she gets pregnant with Edward and has another four babies, because she's jinxed like that, so you've got eight babies, four werewolf, four vampire, running around the house causing havoc. And, oh yeah, they all hate each other. Hehe, you must be glad that I'm not doing that with the plot.

* * *

**Reviews = Cookies**


	7. All

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**All**

* * *

He stood up swiftly, barely jostling me in his arms. "Are you sure about this?"

"You need to stop questioning yourself," I muttered into his shoulder as I pulled him closer towards me. "All I know is that I need you. Regardless of what I wanted Edward, you were my oxygen… you were the reason that I kept breathing, and now that I've got you back, I'm not ever letting you escape again."

"I'm sorry I left."

"Apologize once more and I will _make _you sorry that you left," I teased, and he chuckled darkly above me, still carrying me back towards the church.

"Who would you like to… say goodbye to then?" he asked tentatively, his voice gentle and soothing; something that I'd missed more than I'd realised.

"Charlie…" I sighed, "Renee too…"

"Seth seemed like a likeable kid," Edward smiled warmly at the memory of the fourteen year old, crossing the boundary of hostile werewolves to make sure I was alright.

"He's a good person," I smiled too, but in sadness as well as happiness. Because I knew that I was going to have to leave behind all of this, no matter what I was taking with me.

Before we could open the doors of the Church, Charlie stormed out of them, his eyes narrowing and locking on Edward. His face was beet red, and his hands were tensed in front of him, coiled into fists, and ready to attack.

"Dad-"

"Put her down," Charlie said coldly, his teeth gritting together.

"Of course." Edward answered with nothing but civility, and put me swiftly on the ground, before taking a subtle step in front of me.

"Do you know what _hell _you caused when you left?" Charlie asked bitterly. "How you left my daughter screaming in her sleep for months because you'd told her you _didn't want _her?"

"I-"

"And then she finally gets over you, she finally _heals_, and you come back to ruin her all over again."

"Dad, this isn't what it seems."

"This is _exactly _what it seems Bella," Charlie hissed. "He wants nothing but to hurt you, and he's going to break your heart again."

"I would never-" Edward choked, but Charlie was back to attacking him before he could finish his sentence.

"But that's what you must have said when you first met," he suggested darkly. "You tell yourself you'll never hurt the one you love, and you end up doing the most damage. But I'm not going to let you make your mistakes twice Edward. Now stay the hell away from my daughter."

"This is ridiculous," I stated, moving instantly to Edward's side and linking my hand through his. He tried to release my hand gently, but I held on obstinately.

"Bella, get away from him."

"You always told me that in life, you learn from your mistakes dad. Are you going to let prejudice get in the way of your principles?"

"That's exactly what I'm going to do."

"What about what I want? Does that not matter?"

"Bella," Charlie sighed angrily. "Love does crazy things to our head. We can't even see past the person's flaws, let alone their less _redeeming _qualities. He is going to hurt you… whether you expect it or not, and when he does, I don't know if I can bear having to pick up the pieces again."

"He won't. I trust him."

"Did you trust him the first time?"

"That's beside the point."

"Denial Bella… that's what it is." Charlie shook his head in frustration, and turned away from us briefly as he struggled to control himself. I wanted to reach out and comfort him, but at the moment we were both on entirely different wave lengths. He wanted to protect me from Edward, and I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with him… whilst Edward stood at the side, trying to protect me from Charlie, and myself.

"It's not denial, it's the truth Charlie," Edward finally decided to speak, his voice full of sincerity and an unspoken promise. "I would _never _hurt Bella again… ever. In the time that we spent apart, I realised more than ever how much I needed her; how much we needed each other. Hurting is an inevitable part of love. Can you honestly tell me that your life has been easy?"

"You're asking _me _a question?" Charlie raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"I'm asking you to try to accept this."

"You coming here today is not only about to break my daughter's heart for the second time, but it also hurt a very kind, compassionate person who I would be honoured to call my own. You've destroyed all of this, and you want my _acceptance_?"

Before I could refuse, Edward took his hand swiftly out of mine and took another step towards him, before taking a deep breath inwards. "Charlie, when I left two years ago, I thought that I would be doing what was best for Bella. I'm not a good person, and you out of everybody know that. And instead I hurt her and myself more than I could possibly imagine. I missed just being able to hold her hand, or to promise her that I loved her, and if she were to change her mind and want someone else, I'd leave in an instant; because I will do _anything _for her. But she doesn't want that..." Edward paused, glancing briefly back towards me, "She wants me to stay."

Charlie closed his eyes quickly, taking a deep long breath inwards. He turned away from us again, and started walking slowly back towards the Church. "Call me when he breaks your heart Bella," he called quietly over his shoulder, before disappearing from my sight forever.

"He doesn't mean that," Edward whispered by my side as he took my hands into his. "I can promise you, on my heart, he doesn't mean it."

I looked up, my eyes meeting Edward's. "Honestly?"

"I would bet whatever life I may have on it."

"You have a life," I murmured softly, touching his cheek gently with my fingertips. Trying to convince him was acting as a distraction, and so far... it was working. I couldn't ever have expected Charlie to accept this. Billy and him had become closer than ever, and to him, Jake was like a son.

Unfortunately for me, Edward saw straight past it. "He'll come around Bella." He lent down and pressed his lips to my forehead as I sighed into his touch.

"Bella?" a different voice called from behind us, and I looked up to see Renee standing opposite us, a bright smile splashed across her face.

"I'll be over there," Edward pointed towards the tree, as he left me alone to talk to Renee.

"Mom, I'm sorry," I whispered, as she came and stood next to me, her hands resting lightly against my shoulders.

"Baby, don't apologize."

"Why?"

"Bells," she shook her head sadly. "Are you happy _right _now?"

"What-"

"Are you?"

"Part of me is..." I replied hesitantly. "But, how can I ever know that what I'm doing is right? I hurt one of the most kind-hearted people I know, and is that supposed to be _right_?"

"Jake will move on Bells, and he'll find someone that can make him happy. You may have wanted to love him Bells, but wanting to love someone can never be enough. You _love _Edward, and he makes you truly happy."

"But I hurt Jake..."

She sighed quietly to herself, the warm smile still stretched across her face. She leant towards me and kissed my cheek gently. "Listen to your heart Bells... and it'll tell you all you need to know."

Then she too turned around, and walked out of my life forever.

* * *

**AN** - Sorry for the ridiculous wait on this story! I'm having a really hard time writing this story, because now the chapters have mostly turned into a) bad thing happens, b) Bella cries, c) Edward comforts her, d) Bella and Edward fluff. Which is a tad frustrating, so with the next chapter I'm going to try and break out of that a bit. I'm planning on having two more chapters of this story left, and then if I have the time, I might write that 'Alternate Ending' where Bella ends up pregnant with twin werewolves, and then gets pregnant with Edward's vampire/human hybrid, which ends up to be triplets... or something along those lines - I haven't worked out the logistics of it yet!

* * *

**Reviews = Cookies**


	8. Of

**Chapter 8**

**Of**

**

* * *

**

"I guess it's time to go." I turned back towards Edward, a sad smile lingering on my lips. Whatever path I chose, my parents would have left the main part of my life for good. But with Edward... it seemed much more permanent, because we both understood that the likelihood of ever seeing them again was slim.

"If you ever regret this, you have permission to blame me entirely."

I laughed quietly. "_If _I ever regret this, I'll only blame myself. I was given the choice and I chose you." I touched his cheek gently. "Now, if you keep telling me I'm making the wrong decision, I might just believe you."

His eyes tightened, before he realised I was joking.

"So, where are you planning on taking me?"

"I have no idea," he whispered dangerously close to my ear. "I was thinking about a desert island..." he kissed the side of my jaw as my heartbeat quickened. "What would you say to that?"

"I'd say that sounds incredible." I breathed and before I could blink, he'd scooped me up into his arms.

"Unless... you want to see the rest of the family again?" His voice was hesitant and uncertain again, and I could only imagine the doubts running through his mind.

"I'd like that." I smiled to myself, before turning my attention back towards him. "Perhaps we can save the desert island for another day?"

Edward's car – so he'd told me – was parked just roughly ten miles away. He'd hit traffic when he was driving in, and he didn't stop to wait. Instead, he'd left it there and run the extra distance towards the Church.

Now, it just meant that we had ten miles left of walking to get to his car. Or rather, a few seconds of me clinging onto his back, eyes shut tight and head buried into his neck.

The wind pulled through my hair, releasing the tight curls my mother had brushed it into, and with my chin still resting on his shoulder, I turned my face towards his neck and kissed it gently.

"What was that for?" he asked teasingly from beneath me.

"Do I need a reason?" I whispered into his ear, and he laughed in reply. Slowing to a walk, he lifted me off his back and into his arms, and before I had time to even gather my thoughts as my feet hit the ground, he pressed his lips firmly against mine.

As he slowly pulled away, his hands still resting against my waist, a large beaming smile spread across my face. "I'm assuming you don't have a reason for that."

His lips twitched in response. "Do I need one?"

I took a step towards him, and reached out to grasp his hand tightly with mine. "Stay with me, and you'll never need a reason."

He swept me up into his arms again, cradling me close to his chest as he effortlessly opened the car door whilst still holding me. Then he quickly moved round to the driver's seat, no longer bothering with the simplicity of human speed.

When we were both seated, it was only then did I realise what we were wearing. It seemed that Edward had noticed too.

The white elaborate wedding dress which mom had chosen for me was ripped at the edges and stained with dirt. The petticoat was already fraying and my white slip on shoes were covered in mud.

Edward's outfit wasn't any better, and considering he'd run to the Church in the pouring rain, he could have been a lot worse. His suit was damp, and like my dress, also covered in mud.

"I have several spare changes of clothes in the back if you'd like," he offered uncertainly, and I nodded – the petticoat was starting to itch my legs. Within seconds, he was by the boot of the car, popping the lid with his finger, and slowly, I made my way towards him.

He passed a neat pile of clothes towards me, his expression wavering. "I'll... go and wait over there," he gestured vaguely towards the woods. "Just shout if you need me."

I shook my head, trying hard to hide my smile as he tore off into the woods, his eyes wide with hesitation. I hadn't expected our relationship to automatically become easy when we'd left the rest behind – and the nervousness and wavering indecision of the first stages in our relationship had been brought up again almost instantly.

I turned to the pile of the clothes, before very quickly realising my dilemma – and the person who could fix it, was standing maybe half a mile away from me. Could I ask him?

"Edward?" I called out, my voice timid and faltering. He was my by side immediately, his eyes quickly raking over me once to see if anything was wrong.

I took a deep breath, ignoring my pride as I turned around so that my back was facing him. "Do you mind... undoing the zip of my dress? It's kinda hard to reach."

He tensed behind me, his expression guarded as he fought hard with himself to try not to let primal instinct take over. "Of course I can," he said hoarsely, his voice cracking slightly at the end.

His fingers were cold against the top of my back as they gripped the zip, and I couldn't help the shiver that ran through my body. It wasn't from the cold. It was from desire.

He hadn't even begun to undo the zip, and very slowly, I felt him move a little closer to me, his body in tandem with the back of mine. Then, he leant his chin against my shoulder gently.

"Have you ever done this... with Jake?" he asked tentatively, and I closed my eyes, wondering whether to choose the truth over a lie. But then again, I could never lie to Edward – he knew me too well. And this was a question that he deserved to know the answer to. Not because he was the one that had brought us together, or because it was the chance he'd lost – but because I loved him, and I refused to keep anything else from him.

"Once."

He bowed his head, his forehead now pressed against the top of my shoulder blade as he let out a shaken breath, and it washed over my lower back. "Please tell me I'm a fool for feeling jealous."

I turned around so that I was facing him, and he slowly raised his head to meet mine. "I had to give it to him Edward," I whispered softly, pleading him to see why. I curved my hand around his cheek. "It was all I had."

He twisted his face round and pressed a kiss into the centre of my palm. "I understand Bella – it's my fault." He breathed out a sigh. "There isn't a person who could be more of a hypocrite than I am right now."

"Please stop it," I said quietly. "The past is _past _– let it stay where it should be!"

"Bella, how can I?" he insisted desperately, his eyes melting into black. "I _wanted _you to have humanity, I wanted you to find someone like Jake, and you found it – only for me to take it all away from you."

"Don't."

"How could I have-"

"Don't you dare," I said coldly, and he froze mid-speech at my tone. "You regret turning up to the Church? You regret taking me away from Jake?"

"Bella-"

"I _left _him for you Edward, I left _everyone _for you. If humanity means living without you, then I would willingly leave that in a heartbeat. And now you're saying you regret taking me away from that?"

"I can never regret taking you away," he shook his head. "But my reasons are entirely selfish!"

"Then let them be!" I grabbed his face with my fingers, my eyes burning into his. "If you want to be selfish, I don't care. I want you all to myself – is that selfish?"

"It's not the same."

"I want you to stay with me forever and with no one else – isn't _that_ selfish?"

"Bella-"

These self-sacrificing "I'm-not-worthy" pleas were getting kind of old, and before he could finish his next sentence, I crushed my lips against his.

He responded far more wildly than I could have expected, his own lips attacking mine as his hands shot towards my waist. Then, he lifted me up and set me down on top of the boot of his car, before stepping in between my legs – his lips never leaving mine.

My thoughts were inevitably completely selfish. I wanted this moment never to end. That would have seemed like a simple request for some people, but Edward and I had our differences to sort out, and right here, we both just wanted to prove to the other how our love was greater.

As he tore himself away from me reluctantly, his eyes now pitch black as the night's sky, he exhaled sharply, his chest rising and falling quickly. He took a step back, his eyes pulsing with a desire he was trying desperately to reign in.

"The zip's undone," he blurted out in a rush, before he turned and fled into the woods.

* * *

**AN** - Squeee! I don't know about you, but for some strange reason, that chapter made me smile when I was writing it. Maybe it's just my sense of humour... *shrugs*. There's one chapter left of this story, and if I can put aside my sanity for the day, I may be writing a crackfic ending (meaning 2 chapters left... i.e. a sensible ending, and then an absolutely ridiculous ending). Haha, thank you to everyone who's been reviewing so far, and I hope that you enjoy reading this story!

* * *

**Reviews = Cookies**


	9. This

**Chapter 9**

**This**

* * *

Composing myself wasn't the easiest of tasks afterwards, and no doubt he could hear the fast, erratic beating of my heart and the blood pumping wildly around my body. I placed one hand against the bonnet of the car to steady myself, before taking a deep breath in, calming my breathing.

"I trust you enough not to look," I teased, the words said to myself – but I knew all too well that he'd be listening. Slowly, I slid the dress of my right shoulder.

"Would it be wrong for me to?" he asked slyly, his voice carrying towards me across the field. I couldn't tell where he was. For all I knew, he could be barely steps away from me.

I ducked my head, hiding the blush that was rising up to my cheeks. Perhaps I didn't trust him enough not to look.

The dress slipped from left shoulder too.

"It depends whether you want to or not," I left the statement open for him to interpret. If he wanted it, he'd be by my side within seconds. If he didn't, he'd laugh it off.

"Of course I want it," his voice sounded strained once again, and I felt almost guilty for taunting him. Repressing the thirst for blood was one thing to overcome, but a second desire had been added; one more intimate and significant... and I'd yet again reminded him that because of who he was, it wasn't something he could readily take.

_Then come and get it. _I bit back the words as soon as I thought them. Tempting him would only lead to yet another conversation on how he wasn't 'worthy' of me, and how he didn't deserve to love me. I also didn't want to hurt him.

Finding some confidence deep in the pit of my stomach, I quickly stepped out of the dress, now standing in the field in a simple lace under-top, and the petticoat.

It was then; if I listened close enough, that I heard a tree crack in the forest.

I swapped the petticoat as quickly as I could for the sweatpants he'd left against the bonnet. If I didn't think about the fact that he was watching my every move and saw every time my leg caught against the hem as I tried to put it through as fast as possible, my breathing would have been almost normal.

"Edward?" I called lightly into the open as soon as I'd pulled on the large blue sweater of his. He stood fluidly in front of me, his eyes travelling over the loose clothing.

"You look-"

"Silly?" I finished for him, but he only shook his head, a smile playing around the corners of his lips.

"I would say good enough to eat, but with this situation, I'm not sure that would be a tasteful comment." He thought I looked _edible_.

Bella, he's a vampire.

I quickly shook off that thought, ignoring the voice in my mind constantly reminding me that to him I _was _edible. I hooked one finger through the loop of his jeans, forcing myself to find the small amount of confidence inside of me. "Would it be wrong for me to say I want you to follow through on the comment?"

He raised one eyebrow slyly, his eyes lowering to my lips. "I'm assuming you're the _prey_."

"As always," I reminded him dryly, and his lips twitched with amusement, the warmth never fading from his eyes. He brought his fingers up to my face, running them across my lips. Then, before I could blink, he'd pulled me close to him, his arms wrapped securely around my back, his head buried into my hair.

He sighed contentedly against my neck. "You are far too good for me."

I pushed him away slightly, taking his hand in mine so he didn't move away more than he needed to. "There was me thinking that it was the other way around." I lowered my eyes slowly to the ground between us, my gaze wavering with indecision.

"Bella-"

"Take me home Edward," I whispered gently, and as I finally looked up to meet his own eyes, they were filled with nothing but love. Had he been human, they would've shone with unshed tears.

"I love you."

I smiled slyly. "God knows why, but I love you too."

"Is that so?" he raised an eyebrow, and I barely had time to catch my breath before the ground disappeared from beneath my feet. "Perhaps I'll have to remind you why."

"I'll hold you to that," I said smugly. "Your modesty gets in the way far too much."

He laughed quietly as he set me back in my seat before taking his own in the driver seat. "When would you like me to remind you?" he asked curiously as he fiddled with the dials on the radio.

"When you start believing in what you actually say to me," I retorted, and his glance became subdued, the teasing over.

"I'm supposed to believe that I _deserve _you?"

"Of course," I replied almost instantly, the two words said without hesitation. He pulled out onto the motorway, and I didn't stop to care at the rising needle on the speedometer.

"And if I begin to tell you how I don't, you'll only ignore me?" he chose his words carefully, and keeping one hand against the steering wheel, he reached over the gearbox and linked his hand firmly with mine.

"I can never _ignore _you," I rephrased slowly. "But I think if you did do that, it would be ridiculous."

"How so?"

I turned in the seat so that my body was angled towards him. "Look at yourself Edward. You are not this sadistic, heartless being you make yourself out to be. You can love, you can live, and you've saved my life more times than I can count."

"That doesn't make me human."

"Define human," I said daringly, and his eyes became confused.

"You."

I looked down at our fingers, a wry smile spreading across my face. "It's something compassionate – something _humane_. You fit into that definition more than some people do on this Earth."

"I've killed Bella."

"Only the bad ones." I corrected him, and his eyebrows pushed forward into a frown.

"Does that make it any better?"

"By killing the inhumane ones, you saved far more people in the process. People that could have been hurt in the future – people that were being hurt... at the time, it was the only way you could survive; and even then you refused to do something that was completely callous. You tried to make it as humane as possible."

"Killing can never be described as humane," he shook his head decisively.

"Edward, I don't care."

"You don't care that I've-"

"No."

"See," he pointed out confidently. "That right there is why I don't deserve you."

I laughed quietly, the smile quickly forming on my lips again. "You're being ridiculous." He laughed with me, his hand squeezing mine gently.

"Truce?"

"For now."

He raised his eyebrows towards me. "For now?" He questioned; his voice unsure.

I ignored his own question, and asked him a different one. I knew with all my heart that I wanted to become a sadistic, heartless monster with him – if that was how he chose to view vampires. But there was one burning question in the back of my mind that had been worrying me. "Will you think of me any differently?" I said quietly. "When I'm changed..."

"Bella-"

"If you think that lowly of yourself, I'm going to be the same."

"I won't let you kill anyone," he promised firmly. "Hell can have me but they'll never get you."

"What a great heaven," I said dryly. "If you're not there, that sounds like a place I want to spend eternity in." My voice was laced with sarcasm.

"Bella," he pleaded, his voice quickly removing the teasing smile from my face. "I won't... I mean, I can't just..." he trailed off, the words sticking in his throat. Edward was very rarely ever lost for words.

"You believe you don't have a soul," I murmured softly. "Will my soul just suddenly disappear as soon as I give in to this life? Will you judge me for being a soulless monster?"

"Bella, my opinion of myself can _never _be passed on to you."

"I was under the impression that your opinion was for the whole race. Does that mean you'd define _Esme _as a cold, uncaring being?"

"This isn't fair," he shook his head and he took his hand out of mine quickly, before placing it on the steering wheel. "I never relate to them."

"You don't," I reassured him. "But surely by defining yourself as a monster, your family are just the same as you. Just as compassionate and loving as yourself..." I reached towards him, and clutched his hand against the steering wheel. "Look at yourself," I repeated.

After a long moment of silence between us, he finally spoke.

"Bella... _please_." His voice was desperate, begging and hoarse with tears. "I do not deserve you, and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise. I took you away from humanity, and your own family. Countless times I deprived you of experiences that were important to you – all because of what I was. Then you, this one, insignificant human being had the power to destroy everything I'd held onto. You reduced me to something insecure, unconfident and constantly apprehensive. You defined innocence, beauty and purity, and I represented everything that should have been kept away from you. Then I hurt you more than I ever could have imagined, after all I'd promised Bella – I _hurt _you."

Only then did I realise we were no longer moving. He'd pulled over at the side of the road, his hands now trembling violently against the wheel.

I had never seen him more vulnerable.

No longer stopping to think, I clambered across the dashboard towards him, managing to land safely in his lap. His eyes were cast down towards his laces, his hands never moving from the wheel towards me. Slowly, I reached out and touched his cheek with his fingertips.

"You came back," I whispered softly against his lips.

"I shouldn't have. I just... wanted to see you happy – to convince myself I'd made the right decision. I hadn't wanted to run in like that. I couldn't think rationally, and-"

"You came back." I repeated gently, and I lifted his chin with my fingertips towards me. "You loved me enough to come back."

He finally raised his eyes towards me, his dark black orbs staring hauntingly into my own. "I love you Bella, and I am _so _sorry for everything I did."

I smiled warmly towards him. "I love you too, and apology accepted."

"Just like that?"

I leaned in a little closer towards him, my hands moving from under his chin to the sides of his face. With my lips brushing against his, I whispered in confirmation, "Just like that," before closing the distance between us.

*

"Are you ready?" he asked, his eyes flickering towards mine.

"They're not mad at me... are they?" I replied cautiously as I looked up at the building towering above us. We weren't in Forks. According to Edward, we were in New Jersey, near the East coast.

"They're mad at _me_." He muttered, and I let my shoulders fall, a sigh passing my lips.

"Let's go." I said determinedly, and I clambered out of the car as he sped round towards me, one hand wrapping tightly around my waist.

But before I could even begin to make my way towards the house, a blur of black hair shot out of the house and into my arms.

"Bella!" she shouted happily, picking me up off the floor suddenly. At the mention of my name, four other family members shot towards the doorway. I saw Esme standing on the steps, a hand raised to her mouth in shock. It didn't take long for her – just like Alice had done – to rush towards me and wrap her arms tightly around me. Carlisle was with her, a warm smile plastered across his face as he too hugged me. Jasper was standing to the side, his eyes tight with restraint. He still managed to spare me a smile, his expression becoming thankful.

Alice stepped away from me, before turning to Edward.

Before I could blink, she aimed a punch at his jaw, and it connected solidly, sending him stumbling back a few paces. "You complete _ass_! How could you ruin her wedding day like that? And after everything you wanted her to have, you went back and took it away from her? Do you realise how much of a hypocrite you are? You stupid, _stupid_ idiot!" She tried to punch him again, but I quickly tried to divert her attention.

"Alice?" I asked quietly, and she turned to me, her eyes alight with anger. "I've already had a go at him, so I don't think he needs anymore of it." I sent him a smile over my shoulder, and he only shook his head wryly in reply.

"Bella!" another voice from the house called, and I closed my eyes suddenly, preparing myself for the impact as Emmett came charging towards me. He stopped just before he could reach me. "Why does the human smell of wolf?"

I raised my eyebrows towards him. "Perhaps that's because the human's just been at a wedding with werewolves."

"There were _werewolves _at your wedding?" Emmett asked in shock, and Edward came and stood behind me, his arms wrapping over my stomach.

"She was going to get _married_ to a werewolf."

"Who knew Bella was so hardcore?" Emmett laughed boisterously to himself. "You just keep jumping from supernatural to supernatural. So... who's next?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just Edward."

I hadn't even realised that Rosalie was standing opposite me whilst I'd been talking. I turned towards her, my expression wary. She only laughed at me. "Thanks for saving my complete fool of a brother Bella." Her glance flickered towards him. "Leave her again and I'll castrate you."

His eyes widened. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"You don't dream," I reminded him dryly, and he ran his fingers lightly over my sides; tickling me. I squirmed against him. "This isn't fair."

"How so?" he asked all too innocently, his fingers still brushing relentlessly against my side.

"You aren't ticklish," I stated, trying to tickle his sides, only to be met with solid marble. "How am I supposed to get my own back?"

"You really shouldn't have said that," Emmett grinned boldly, and that only set Alice into a fit of hysterics. She'd obviously seen something to keep her entertained.

I could barely catch my breath before Edward scooped me up into his arms yet again. "I need to get you away from these creatures," he whispered dangerously close to my ear, and he held me recklessly close as he darted past them and up the stairs.

As he put me down on my feet, he closed the door quietly and made his way towards the large four poster bed in the middle of the room. He sat down against the mattress, before patting the space beside him.

"So, what do you plan to do with me now?" I asked slyly, my eyes alight with anticipation as I sat next to him, my hip touching his. The excitement at finally seeing the rest of his family had given me a confidence that I was wanted here – and the earlier incident in the forest had reminded me that I wasn't completely lost at getting my own back.

He pushed himself into the middle of the bed, and beckoned me over. I crawled towards him, before stopping between his legs and letting my hands rest beside his shoulders.

Suddenly, he pulled me down onto his chest, his lips cold against my ear. "I plan to devour you," he whispered dangerously.

"Is that so?" I teased, my voice light and daring.

He hummed in reply, his lips skimming across my neck. As his mouth trailed butterfly kisses across my shoulder, he stopped at my collarbone.

I pulled his chin towards me, my eyes searching. "When... Edward?" I wanted this life more than ever. More importantly, I wanted _him_.

His eyes tightened, his hands slipping to my waist. "Tonight – if you want it."

"I want it," I breathed softly, and I leaned forward, brushing my lips against his.

"Or now."

I let out a shaken breath, my fingers trembling against his cheek. I pushed a lock of his hair out of his eyes, my own staring desperately into his. "Don't let me forget him Edward."

"If you think that's best."

"I know it's best," I nodded, convincing both myself and him.

I rolled onto my side, now facing him, and I reached towards him again, placing my hand in his. I had never wanted something more than this right now, and yes, I was afraid. But not of the pain or of the prospect of the life I would live.

I was afraid of him no longer wanting me. What if I truly did become the monster he described himself to be? Once I'd lost my blush, heartbeat and clumsy qualities – could he accept me as the Bella he'd loved as a human?

I took a deep breath, pushing my own insecurities behind me. I wouldn't be a hypocrite. He could mistrust himself, but I could never begin to doubt him.

"I'm ready," I said determinedly, reaching towards him as I pushed my lips against his. His arms encased around me, his scent surrounding and overpowering my thoughts.

I loved Edward Cullen, and for him, I'd give up humanity, and accept a new life, far different from my own. The road ahead was never smooth, but I loved him, and to me, that was all that mattered.

I wanted to share a new life with him... for better, _and_ for worse.

* * *

**AN - **After this, I might post a crackfic ending just to amuse myself, and I have an awesome chapter title planned if I do post it. If I don't, then this is the final end for In That Moment, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. I want to say a big thank you to all the readers that got me here, and encouraged me to extend it to more than just a oneshot.

* * *

**Reviews = Cookies**


End file.
